My Natural Hair Journey


♪ ♪ What’s up, beautiful people? It is your
homegirl, Ms. Shameless, all up in your building. Specifically,
possibly your phone, your tablet, your computer,
your TV. I don’t know. But let me know in
the comments below. This video is all about my hair. A lot of you might be like,
girl, your hair looks different. It’s straight.
The curls are looser. Yes. All of that is true. But I just wanted to walk
you through how I got here by going back,
taking it back to the past on what my hair
was like as a kid. I think as a child all
the way until I was 12 I’ve always had short
hair, shorter than this. And that was because
my dad always cut my hair and wanted me to look like
him. Don’t know why. Blah. When my mom left him, that’s
when I started to grow my hair. And I was low-key
happy, because I was like, yay, finally I get
to look like a girl, because everyone
thought I looked like a boy. But yeah, when I
was 12, we moved out, and then she
started to grow her hair. The products I was
using then were Frizz Ease — and it was so
expensive — by John Frieda. And so I would
use that on occasion, and I would
saturate my hair with it, and it was super rock-hard,
and I had major shrinkage. It would be down to here, but it really was
just chillin’ over here. What was my
relationship with my hair? My mom attempted to relax my
hair because I begged her to, but as soon as she put
it in I started screaming because it was
burning, so she washed it out. But my mom, if
anything, loved my curls. She, in fact, permed
her hair to look more like me and my brother versus
trying to get my hair straight. She would criticize me for
trying to get rid of my curls. But I just couldn’t take it. So that was cool,
that my mom loved my hair and told me to love my
hair, but I was just like, no. I don’t want to. It’s
just so curly and puffy. It was just puffy. I just did
not know how to deal with it. When you always
slick your hair in a bun, you have a receding hair line. My hair line was back
here when I was a kid because I always pulled it back, and then we were in the
mall going shopping, and there was this sales associate
at All Those Shoes [ph.], and her hair was out and curly, and my mom’s like, “How do
you get your hair like this? Because my daughter,
she doesn’t like her hair. She always pulls it in a bun.” So she told us about a
bunch of products she used, and I tried, and I
just was never comfortable. I would always wear it
half up half down or in a bun. Or better yet, the icicles. Did anyone do the
little icicles here? I would do icicles right here,
sometimes four, sometimes two, depending on how I felt. If you guys watch my
previous video, my throwback, the products of the time
were Pink Luster, Dep Gel. I would say the only
complication my mom had with my hair was
how thick it was. It was very thick, and
every time I went to daycare, it would be all over the place. So the daycare
teacher felt so sorry for me, this Jamaican woman, so
she started braiding my hair. Then I would come home to
my mom and she’d be like, “Your hair. Who did it?” And I’m like, “Oh,
my daycare teacher.” My daycare teacher
taught my mom how to braid. So my mom’s little
nimble Filipino fingers were braiding my hair, but I just
had three fat doodoo plaits, two on either and
one down the middle, or sometimes she’d go in-in
and give me four, maybe five. But they were always frizzy. And it was cute. But when this teacher went in, I was serving you all
kinds of braids with barrettes. I would say
braiding my hair as a kid was my favorite hairstyle. I’ll also say before my
hair was long enough to braid, my hair was too short
to do anything to it, so my favorite hairstyle
was taking my mom’s scarf, tying it in my head
— then it’s a long bow so I could run and my
bow would flow in the wind so I felt like I had hair. Because as a kid they
really brainwash you with those hair commercials, those
Herbal Essences commercials where it’s like,
oh, yes, look — it’s like, I don’t
have that. I have an Afro. So I will give you some little
fall-off with my hair scarf. My least favorite is
when my dad would take a pick and pick my hair
out and give me an Afro and would send me
off into the world looking like a boy.
Least favorite, then and now. I started doing my own
hair I want to say nine. Eight or nine I
started doing my hair. And that’s when I
gave you slicked back. I gave you this slicked back. Then it was a hair elastic here, then a hair elastic here,
then a hair elastic here. Oh my goodness, to
fake a long ponytail, my mom would pull my hair
into a half-up ponytail here and then a half down here, so it’s like two
ponytails on top of each other, and then she would brush
the hair into each other so it looked like I
had a long ponytail when it was really just
two nubs brushed together. [laughing] And I was feeling myself
with that hairstyle. Shoot. That was my hair
journey as a child pre-YouTube. I think I really started to
embrace my hair in high school towards the end of it, so at that time I actually
truly embraced my hair, and embracing for me
meant wearing it out. Not in a bun, not in a
ponytail, not in braids, but just wearing
it completely out. That was in like ’99. 1999, 2000, I was the original
natural hair, girls, okay? She was a OG. I always wore my hair curly. I would blow it out.
I would press it out. But I never
chemically did anything to it. Then fast-forward
to my YouTube channel, and everyone was asking
me about my hair, like, oh my God, hair
envy, I love your hair. How did you get it
to look like that? I was just like,
whoa, I never even — okay, thank you. Because
I couldn’t stand my hair. So I started to do
videos on my hair. And those did well.
They actually went viral.
did an article. A ton of hair outlets did
articles on me and my journey. But I was like, I
feel like an impostor, because I’m not a hair person. I’m just uploading
videos about being shameless. So I told myself, year
one, I’m going to shave all of this hair off, because
people are too attached to it, and I’m not, and
people are envying something that I don’t think defines me, and it’s not the be-all
and end-all of my beauty. It’s coming from
my inside outwards, emanating into the universe,
with or without my hair locks. But the big chop — the
shave-off of my natural hair that had no
chemical treatment — I thought it wasn’t a big
deal, even shaving my hair off. I will say I felt vulnerable, because I was letting
go of a lot of stuff. At the time I was
going through a divorce, and I just felt like
this was symbolizing me letting everything go. And it was cathartic. The next day I forgot
that I shaved my hair off, and when I saw myself
in the mirror I was like, agh, I feel like — I
felt old and I felt sick, because usually when you’re bald that’s associated
with age or illness. I didn’t like how I felt.
I didn’t like how I looked. But I was just like,
girl, you better work this. This is what it is. And it took some time,
but I finally got to a place where I can embrace being bald. And it made me strong. It made me feel like
I didn’t have to rely on this thing to get me
views, to get me clicks. And I loved me a bald moment. I would shave my
hair every two weeks when I started to grow
it, and every two weeks go to the barber
shop and buzz that. Started to rock some fades. Started to rock some designs,
not such good designs, either, that you would never see
because I never posted it. And then I started to play
with color. I started dying it. Bleach became my best friend. I loved it because bleach is
obviously awful for your hair. It strips it of everything. But when your hair is that short and it grows every two weeks, it doesn’t matter when
it breaks or falls apart, because two weeks, I
have a new set of hair. Once it was bleached,
I played with colors. I was teal, purple.
I did a lot of colors. And that was a lot of fun. I would say the
curls with the teal was my favorite phase
of the color wheel. And my hair has been short
for most of my YouTube career. I’ve been on
YouTube for five years. My hair was short
for four of those, and now it’s
finally growing back. But when my hair was
super short, when I was like, you know what, no
more color, Maya, I was just like,
be dark, be natural. So I did that. And then I started to
play with the texturizers. I started to get hooked
on the texturized life, mainly because
my hair was short, and I wanted that
look, that Nia Long, that nineties total — that
short — that’s what I wanted. That’s what I was striving for. And I would
always go to the salon. Having short hair
introduced a whole new world of salon living. I was in the
salon every two weeks getting my hair pressed
because I wanted that look. But then I said to
myself, you know what, I want to be able
to do this at home. Can you guys loosen my
hair texture so it’s easy? Because you need heat
and technique to really get it straight,
which I didn’t have, so he was like, “Okay,
let me just texturize it.” And he did an amazing
job. His name is Bear [ph.]. I’ll put it in
the info box below. But he did a great job on
having my curls still there but just slightly looser. He would just
literally put in the relaxer, wash it out as soon as he
put it in, and I was living. Then I went to a new salon because I was tired of
waiting in his waiting area for like two hours. I’m like, I got
things to do, buddy. So I went somewhere else,
and I started hopping around, and that’s when ish
started to hit the fan. When your hair grows
out, you have roots, right? So I only needed a texturizer
here. Not here. This is fine. This is living. This part
here, this is new growth. I need to treat this. She put it in my
entire head, and I was like, “What’s going on?
What are you doing?” She’s like, “Oh, I’m
relaxing your hair.” I’m like, “No, I
don’t ever relax my hair! Why’d you do that?” And so she washed it
out, she styled my hair, so I had no idea
what it looks like. If anything, actually, this is
when I had the bowl cut look. I love that moment. But I had no idea
what it looked like until I washed my hair out. Then my hair was
like, oh, yeah, we coasted. We’re not doing anything.
We’re just gonna chill. Not give you no curl, no
wave, just pfft. Devastated. So then I started
to grow my hair out. And I was halfway of new growth. Then I went to another
stylist to get it pressed out for an event.
Pressed, okay? Pressed. He damaged my hair. I
already had half of new growth. The whole thing now
was just like, wow, Maya. Learn, learn, learn from this. Don’t just hop into any salon.
Don’t just trust randoms. Really do your homework and
really do multiple screenings, because I messed up, and
now my hair, it’s messed up. Right now, there
was a roller set. I just put rollers in and I
slept with it and I took it out. But no more heat.
This is heat damage. I think the relaxer has
grown out, but I’m just like, this is not my
natural hair texture. I think back here is. Some
here. There’s some curl there. [fake-crying] I’m using this mirror. Shout-out
to Impressions Vanity. So now I’m having to learn
how to keep my hands to myself, leave my hair alone. But I’ve been playing. I’ve
had short hair for four years that I never really
got to do anything, so as much as I want to
cut off all this damaged part, I’m like, nah. I love braids. So let me play with some braids.
Let me give you some cornrows. Let me give you a high ponytail. The fact that I can
even put my hair in a little mini
bunny-tail is exciting for me. After four years of being short,
I want to have longer hair. I don’t know how
long I’m gonna go, but I am having fun
with some length, finally. I think I would say in
this hair journey of mine, I’ve played with the color.
I’ve played with the relaxer, texturizer, which is
something I can’t say I did when I started my YouTube. Everyone praised me for
being this natural girl. And I was like, I
just never went there. But I’m here now,
in that position of, how do I get my hair better? It really all boils down to,
be patient and let it grow out. In the meantime, I’m gonna
play with some roller sets. Lots of braids. And I think
I’m gonna start doing wigs. But what am I using
to moisturize my hair? Whatever they
gave me that’s free. I’m using the SheaMoisture
Jamaican Castor Oil, I think? It’s a mask. I don’t
know. I have a bunch of masks. I will insert the footage
of what’s in my bathroom right now right here. That’s what I’m using.
I’m not doing anything crazy. I’m not doing any
oils, unless it’s my scalp. I do oil my scalp, but I’m not
really doing much to my hair. But hopefully in the
next year, you see something fully natural without
heat damage and all that. Give me shoulder-length.
That’s the goal. Let’s aim for the shoulders. I hope you guys
found this video helpful. If you did, make
sure you like this video. I would love to
know your hair journey, so let me know in
the comments below, are you wanting to grow your
hair, cut your hair, dye it, straighten it, perm it? Who does perms? I low-key want
to perm my hair back to curls. But my friend said no,
so I was like, okay, okay. I learned my lesson, okay? Let me know what your
next move for your hair is. And until next
time, remember to do you, be you and stay
true, boo. Be shameless. Work with what you got, okay? I’m just gonna work with
this. I’m gonna make this work. ♪ ♪


41 Responses

  1. ashlin dacosta

    January 28, 2018 7:20 pm

    I have heat damage too so I'm gonna go on this journey with you my curls are gone and I want them to come back😭

  2. Tia Davis

    January 30, 2018 6:27 pm

    So happy to see a curly girl with short hair talking about the struggle. I had armpit length hair and went for a deva cut ended up with a big chop and I hate it. Happy to see that others make hair mistakes and show us that part of the journey too. Love it!

  3. Crystal F

    January 31, 2018 2:46 am

    I’ll be honest my hair is such a struggle! I wanna do “a big chop” or just something that’ll help me tame my hair easier. I have come such a long way when it comes to styling but I just overall always struggle with my hair 😭

  4. Kiya Johnson

    February 4, 2018 2:58 am

    We have the same type hair. I've used a relaxer for years to keep my hair from puffing up if it rained🤣 but my hair grew so fast while using it 🖤

  5. Talisha Lowe

    February 11, 2018 9:44 pm

    I LOVE THIS!!! I wrote about my hair journey on my blog➿/

  6. Design Lauré

    February 25, 2018 11:54 am

    I am actually thinking of locking my hair these days. I've been doing some research on it from YouTube and learned that my hair might not be ready just yet to loc on a healthy level. I love my girls but I'm also lazy with my hair and I think it's stopped growing and the curls aren't curly… Just a lot. So I thought about locking. Not only for length but for a new look, new style

  7. Audrey, Nhu Pham

    March 14, 2018 9:41 am

    I've been struggling with trichotillomania for several years now and have never been able to grow my hair out long . I've always had short hair for as long as I can remember. I think I'm going to shave my head again after growing it out for the last year and a half. Hopefully, someday I could over come this.

  8. naissa Wache

    April 23, 2018 1:44 pm

    It’s funny, because my dad used to shaved my hair when I was a little girl and everyone thought I was boy. They did so cause my mom and my dad did not know how to manage 4C texture.

  9. 1Ladydiamond T

    April 29, 2018 6:13 pm

    Your hair is NATURALLY CURLY!!! WHY put a perm in it when GOD gave it to YOU that way?!!! You're gorgeous, your hair is gorgeous so let it flow!!! 💜

  10. Dev

    June 7, 2018 8:11 am

    I just cut off my long curly hair. I’ve never had hair this short before & I thought it was gonna be no big deal! Yeah I also went through it and cried and broke down. But, it has also released me from the feeling that my hair defines me. I did it once but now imma just grow this out! I’m in the braids stage too

  11. imane qabel

    July 6, 2018 11:38 am

    5:47 can someone please tell me what the cut is named so i can get it done pleeaaaaaaase !

  12. Counselor Ashlei

    September 24, 2018 4:19 am

    You look like the little girl from That’s So Raven, I cant remember her name! But she used to follow Raven around and they would dress alike lol

  13. Sheree Morgan

    November 28, 2018 3:56 pm

    My hair is below my shoulders now, and natural. But I am thinking about going much shorter, basically, I want a fade. Easy maintenance!

  14. Amara Grey

    December 6, 2018 12:42 am

    I’m so sad I shaved my head when I was 15 but i didn’t play with it at all, it was covered 24/7 and now I’m sad I didn’t play with colours and shit

  15. Hair Curls & Symone

    February 20, 2019 4:09 pm

    I started off great with my natural hair and now it has major color and heat damage. I prefer my hair straight 😂 so you’re not alone Maya! Kudos to you for starting over in your journey

  16. Nina Abdo

    March 1, 2019 8:34 pm

    First time I saw you was five years ago and you courage me back then to cut my hair and to get over my fear , so I had the idea and not the act but am very optimistic for this year and I think it's going to be the year that am bolling my courage and get over my fear starting with my so I guess want to say thank you for being supportive by being you ❤❤❤❤❤

  17. Adrian Williams

    July 28, 2019 1:19 pm

    My hair texture is not too different. It is a little drier but same. I was natural for 5 years I the dummy That I was places a relaxer/ color in for less that ten minutes and my hair fell out. And in some places in patches. It is growing back but I cut it again. You are right hair does not define me.


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