The journey of Jesus in 3 ½ minutes

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We’ll kick off here – David (Yeah, he’s
not Jesus, but he sung about him). God even tells Dave this future King was going
to be part of his family tree A few hundred years later, we meet these 2
– they meet shepherdy sorts and wise peeps as Mary gives birth to Jesus, then lullabies
God’s son to sleep in a feeding trough Then, Herod hunts Jesus cos he’s worried the ‘baby
King’ rumour isn’t fake news – they escape, lay low, then get the welcome home mats out in Nazareth. Mary and Joe do a ‘Home Alone’ and lose 12-year-old Jesus but all’s good cos he
was in the Temple, teaching the teachers (I wonder if He threw paint cans at the Pharisees?) Jesus grows up. Gets dunked by John, ‘I’ll
eat anything Bear Grylls doesn’t’ Baptist, and receives the spirit as Dad in heaven makes
a gushing speech Next he’s tested in the desert and has a
Scripture slam against Satan Then a wedding in Cana miracling a vintage
with water Good news, He makes it offish but the locals
aren’t convinced Still, he does loads of epic things, too many
to count in 3 and half minutes (ish), but here’s 10 highlights… Jesus tours Galilee and heals all-sorts Catches fishermen – they’re bowled
over when this Carpenter catches more fish than Captain Birdseye, so they leave their
rods and follow him… He’s on a hill giving the best Ted Talk
ever He’s on a boat and tells the storm to
put a sock in it Feeds 5000 with 5 baguettes and a couple
of fish cakes. Hangs out with Mary while Martha loads
the dishwasher. She feels hard done by Jesus brings dead mate Lazarus back to
life. Tells totes amaze stories about how God
feels about us…‘Put on your party hats go all out on the buffet – my son was
dead, but now he’s alive!’ After meeting little Zach having a nose
from a treehouse, he rides a donkey on a bunch of palm leaves He’s at the Temple and he’s fuming
– Jesus kicks off at the corruption and sends the ‘pay day loan’ scammers packing It’s last supper time with the team, as
someone tucking into the breadsticks is about to sell Jesus out. Before that, Jesus sets example and scrubs
filth off his followers feet Then, filled to the brim with anxiety, Jesus
breaks out into a blood sweat. He prays for another way, but chooses the
Father’s way The rabble and Judas set the betrayal in motion.
– He’s arrested, interrogated and thrown before Pilate for the verdict Pilate stalls, as does Herod, til Pilate finally
backs down and washes his hands of the whole thing Suffering on a cross, mess of the world on
his shoulders. Then, Jesus dies and is put in a tomb 3 days later his body vanishes To be found –
Mary thinks it’s a randomer potting plants Back with the team, Tom’s having none of
it until he sees the nail marks in Jesus’ hands to prove it. Risen Jesus spends 40 days with his followers,
Has a beach BBQ with his fisher mates He even rambles with a couple chatting the
big picture of scripture Jesus clocks off so the Holy Spirit can clock on though the disciples won’t get short-changed
from the shift change. He commissions the gang to be his reps everywhere,
And as he takes the heavenly escalator to the right side of the Father, he simply says ‘wait’


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